You text her, she replies a few times, and then poof… She stops responding altogether. Or maybe she just never replies at all. Show
It’s not uncommon. But worry not, there are many texts you can send to make her text back. To begin with, though, I want to tell you this: don’t take a few unanswered texts as a personal rejection. Now let’s start by defining the “she stopped replying” situation: When Can You Consider Her “Non-Replying”?I will define a woman has gone AWOL on you when:
Now there will be plenty of women that will text you back after a few weeks, days… Or even months (yep)! Why Two Texts Is the ThresholdIf two texts go unanswered a third text is a big no-no. So the rule of thumb is: two unanswered texts, and that medium has been “burned”. You can’t use it no more. What do you then? Read on: Contents
The call is probably the very first thing I’d go for after two unanswered messages. Why Calling Works
Here is an example, and notice that one month and a half had passed between our last text: If I had texted here instead of calling we would have never become loversLet’s dig deeper: The last reason is that some women aren’t into texting (mostly older and/or very busy). They consider it a time wasting and “childlike” medium. If She Picks UpWhen she picks up it’s a bit like starting from a clean slate. I’ve had women propose themselves we should meet after a good phone call, and the unanswered texts become a thing of the past. Just to be sure though avoid writing her again on the “burned” medium after the call. Few Quick Calling TipsIf you’re nervous:
The talk:
Of course, the call might go unanswered as well. If you did call, leave a message on the voice mail -make it cool and nonchalant and tell her to call you back-. The best one if going from texts to Whatsapp (or Line or Kakao or whatever is popular). Why It WorksSince she won’t notice the old unanswered texts:
ExampleIn this example below, she didn’t reply to my last text. But then, look what a 180 degrees turn when I switched medium: she was thinking about inviting me for a movie but was afraid I’d refuse. Wouldn’t it have been simpler scheduling when I asked two weeks earlier? Yes, but that’s sometimes what happens with texts: it doesn’t progress but it does not necessarily mean there’s no interest from her side. And that’s when a Text Medium Switch gives you the biggest bang for the buck. #3. Use A Value-Giving Text
We have seen in the article of Social Exchange that the best way of getting what you want is to give other people what they want. Ideally, in the romantic realm, you won’t provide anything more than being a hot, sexy and charming man. But life is rarely about “ideal” situations, and especially after two unanswered texts, it can be a great strategy to give her something she wants and values. Why it WorksRight now she perceives you as a guy who’s asking and taking. Providing something of value breaks that dynamic and completely flips the scripts. Now you’re a giver. ExampleThe girl from the below text message played and studied a musical instrument. What could be useful for her? Now we can’t AB test that, but I’m pretty sure that after an unanswered WhatsApp, an unanswered call and an unanswered text this was a dead one. So I proceed to invite her to what is useful to her. Notice that exactly one hour later she promptly calls me back. Note:
This is one of the most effective and by far my favorite… This is another text I use often and with a very good response rate. Basically you send her a message saying that you’ve tried to reach her a few times but you can’t keep going after her and… You will not. If she liked you this text can be a major wake up call that she’s losing you. And that’s good. I especially like to combine this one with “switching medium”. For example when I’ll text twice, call and still no answer, then I’ll send this one via another messaging app. ExampleAnd here’s an example of how it works like a charm: #5. Drop It… Then Ping Her
This has a much lower hit rate. But your text might land on some perfect timing: recent breakup, or some long drought period.. And you know you can help with those ;). You can use it as a flooding strategy: when you’re in any downtime copy paste the exact same message and send it to all the old unresponsive numbers. ExampleYou can write you were deleting old numbers; or that you either saw her or someone who looked exactly like her; or that you stumbled by mistake on that old conversation.
This one works rather well too. In some instances, it also worked for me without switching medium and after more than 2 unanswered texts (!). It’s a huge wake-up call for those women who live their dating life very passively, expecting a man on a white horse will smash their front door and drag them to a fantasy castle (and there are many of those!). I’m exaggerating here with the imagery, but in practice, that’s how many women live their dating life. Why it WorksIt works because now all of a sudden you’re not anymore the guy who’s texting them and whom the might have one day met.. Now you’re the guy who’s gone, and that’s it. All of sudden they remember you were a cool guy, and you become a missed opportunity. And scarcity and the human tendency of valuing what we can’t have also come to your rescue (check Influence by Cialdini). I use it with all the girls I liked but never got around to meet while I travel. If you want to possibly meet those women when you go back, this text is more powerful than anything else you could write. The Sneaky VariationI don’t like lying and only used it when I really left. But nothing stops you from using it with women from your same city. If you do, you can tell her one month later you’re back for a few days and you will then try to make things happen quickly during that time. Don’t worry about the “truth” emerging later on, if all goes well she’ll be delighted you’re actually sticking around. The Power Move VariationIf she’s not very forthcoming it will increase your chances if you further re-balance the relationship. How do you that? When she says yes to meeting up, don’t write her anymore. Then write later on, or on some occasion like her birthday to excuse yourself for not having had the time (read a step by step case study on how to use special occasions to re-build your value: recovering from a bad date with Facebook). Power balance restored and your chances of things happening just increased. #7. “I’m Worried About You” TextThis is another effective one you can use where you pretend you’re worried about her for whatever reason. Why It WorksIt positions you as someone who cares about her, which will warm her to you. And as someone who takes care of the people around them, which is a typical leader behavior –Godfather style-. Also, bonus points if you do it because you really care. You will notice she hadn’t replied to 3 of my messages. I had stumbled upon her in person again in the months after and we agreed for a coffe. But she hadn’t picked up the phone. Empathy & Caring as a Screening ToolIt will work more effectively with people who are compassionate and emphatic themselves. And these are the kind of people you want in your life. More than a woman also used it with me (1, 2 example), and I cherish and remember these kind of thoughtful check-ins. #8. Text Her 3 DotsIf you were in a conversation, a very effective technique is to simply write her name and three suspension points. If she likes you and you didn’t do anything too wrong, this text works very well in getting a reply and get the conversation back on track. Read the whole case study on how to text flaky girls. #9. Use Some Text FlirtingOnce you finally brought her to text you back, change the mood of your texts right away. This is a good video on how to spruce your texts with some flirting and good sexual innuendos: Permission to be honest? Alright then, here it is:
Don’t worry though: we’ve all been there. Indeed I don’t mean it in a mean way. As a matter of fact, I’ve been there too. And if you are ready and willing to walk up the mountain, I’m happy to show you the way. Read around here and make yourself into a person who doesn’t have to worry anymore about a couple of silly texts. Or even better, accelerate, condense and take your learning to the next level with Power University: Bonus: Never text theseAfter a Google search, I realized there’s a surprising lack of good advice on this topic. However, there’s a good quantity of cra**y advice and poor understanding that I’ve experienced firsthand.
This was taken from nothing less than the very first website in the Google search results for women not texting back.
Of course, WikiHow never fails to take a high spot in the race to the bottom. Your texts should always aim at getting her out with you, or setting up for it. “Hey” puts the burden on the receiver and relinquishes control of the interaction. Oh, and BTW, a woman sending you this cr*p only ever gets: no reply; a question mark; or a “yo” as a response. Anything more is out of the question. Pure digital pollution, but great for a laugh’s sake
This probably takes the crown for the worst text to send: now she’s searching for reasons WHY she doesn’t want to text you back. The only way to answer such a text is with a slap.. Hoping it will inculcate some common sense :).
Pushy, butthurt, stalk-ey and desperate all rolled into one. This text instills bad feelings in the receiver. Those bad feelings might push her to reply out of a sense of guilt, but she’ll start associating your texts -and you- with those bad feelings. Also, she’ll feel like your happiness depends on her and she has to baby you. Warning: the easiest way to get A girl to text you back…
Dating, as much as most other things in life, never really stops being a number game and a question of odds. Girl Not Texting You Back: The MindsetsYou will notice that some techniques in this post could be used in “sneaky” ways. Your mindset then is that, if you’re a great guy, you’re doing her a favor by making it happen. And if that means pulling a few strings or bending some truths, then be it. Of course, that also means it’s our duty to keep working on becoming a high-value guy :). WHEN SHE DOESN’T TEXT BACK: SUMMARYWhen a girl doesn’t text back some common advice is to “just move on”. That’s an option, of course. But if you care about meeting pretty girls -or that specific girl- why should you move on right away when you can still have a fair shot that only costs you a mere minute? Should I text someone again if no reply?Give them the benefit of the doubt, both experts agree. If you wait seven days, without sending a double text, and your inbox is still at zero, you should take that as a sign too. No response is a response, Fields says.
What should I text her when she doesn't reply?Try sending something like, “I guess you're really busy, I'll stop bugging you.” If she reads this text and doesn't want the relationship to end, she'll probably respond right away. If She's Just Not That Into You, it will spur her to explain her lack of response and end things the right way.
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